The Bee

Bush the Younger wants to infuse these crumbling, private financial institutions with unprecedented amounts of public money so that they can continue lending. He said this. He really said this. George W. Bush wants to dump $700 billion dollars that we don’t have into revitalizing usurious lending companies to continue handing out money that they don’t have. I mean, after all, this is why we’re giving them this money, right—because they don’t have it. If you don’t see where this going, you possibly killed too many brain cells in high school huffing paint thinner. Bush the Younger then turns around and tries to explain the history of this economic crisis like it dates back to the Romans. According to him, all that’s happening is we’re just now seeing the horrible effects of an economically geriatric downward spiral. In truth, this has been happening because, over the past few years, financial institutions have been shoveling out money to financially incompetent borrowers. When you give money—money that you don’t have—to people who don’t have the means to pay you back, then you’re going to run out of money and go bankrupt. It is pure lunacy to turn around keep on doing this. What we should really do is let these companies fall flat on their faces and take the whole lot of us with them. We deserve it. We’ve regressed into a plastic economy. I hope that China and India learn from our lesson when they’re the world’s next superpowers and the American middleclass is standing in bread lines. They would be stupid not to learn from such blatant idiocy. We were preaching the gospel of free-market economy when the criminals at the top were just nationalizing every aspect of this country and selling it all off to foreign buyers. The people on the hill have derailed us with their own greed. When the United States is reduced to a sea of crumbling infrastructure almost as vast as its unemployment, those in the aristocracy will feel only a pinch. Worse case scenario: one or two them might have to sell off a yacht to an Arab prince. On the other hand, we wouldn’t be real capitalists if we didn’t experience a baptism by fire every few generations.